SCREAMING AT SHARK WEEK 2017!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! As many of you know, it’s Shark Week, and several horror host/YouTube reviewers are blowin’ their channels out with everything shark related right now. We want to do somethin’ in that same vein with a series of shark movie reviews we’ve been itchin’ to do since we started our show, but our hard pressed animation schedule usually prevents it from happenin’. Despite this hindrance, however, we still want to share with you the horrific shark movies we enjoy watchin’, excludin’ the big kahuna blockbusters like the Jaws and Sharknado series. These ain’t full reviews or even R-Rated Reviews, but just a heads up for killer fish flicks to watch out for if you’re lookin’ for things that step up the genre.

SHARKMAN aka HAMMERHEAD (2005)

William Forsythe’s gotta sink Jeffrey Combs’ mad science experiments for curin’ cancer, because they involve poor women bein’ mated with a mutant shark man who keeps eatin’ them! Fun movie with a great Street Sharks kinda monster stalkin’ people in the water and on land. We have plans for animating a review of this flick in the future. 4/5!

ycreatPETER BENCHLEY’S CREATURE (1998)

The U.S. Government creates a feral Stan Winston shark man for winning the Vietnam war but scraps the gene splicing project as soon as he goes on a frenzy. Decades later, the beast with teeth is accidentally freed and treats himself to some Caribbean islanders unless marine biologist Craig T. Nelson and his family can stop him! 3/5!

GHOST SHARK (2013)

The tide carries a shark’s bloated corpse into a magical cave that manifests its spirit into free flyin’ ecto-terror with teeth! With water as its conduit, no one’s safe as you watch this lost Ghostbusters goober tear into folks from bubble baths to lawn sprinklers with Richard Moll playin’ its Ahab. 4/5!

SHARKTOPUS (2010)

Roger Corman brings us a freaky hybrid of a shark crossed with an octopus that gobbles you up at sea or on the beach! It’s military science gone horribly wrong with Eric Roberts racin’ to the rescue! 4/5!

 

SAND SHARKS (2011)

If Tremors was less creative with its Jaws inspired graboids, then you’d have Sand Sharks. Sharks are literally swimmin’ through sand and threatenin’ a beach’s livelihood unless a professional partyer and Dr. Brooke Hogan can blow it up. Sounds like a silly movie, but fun characters and nice production value. 4/5!

And that’s pretty much it, Scream Freaks! The shark movies that instantly send us into a happy frenzy whenever they’re on TV, and we’d highly recommend each of these for a DVD purchase if you’re lookin’ to add some wild new stuff to your horror collection. We hope to have more shark movies to share in the near future, but these should be enough to hold you over for now.

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our YouTube channel, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail coming.

Warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns scheduled to play on Sluggo’s The Vortexx (after 9PM EST Sunday and Wednesday nights)!

If you need the hook-up with instant Troma and Full Moon movies, we’d suggest watching Troma’s films for free on their Youtube channel, and you can get full access to Full Moon’s catalog of work from their movies to their Videozone clips at Full Moon Streaming and their Amazon channel.

See ya later, Scream Freaks!

SCREAMING AT MONSTER MAN!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Lock your doors and turn the lights off, ’cause it’s time for an all new episode of Screaming Soup! Yessir, we’ve officially stepped out of the Howl-Inn Grub & Spirits and hit the open road of the Crosslands where its truly highways or dieways. Clues are given for future storylines, we have the most horror icon cameos on the show to date, and we finally get a lead for how to kick Buzzkill out of the picture for good.

This time around, we review a unique little film called Monster Man that’s all about a monster killing people with a monster truck. ’bout time! 2 buds (who we call dumb and dumber light) race to a wedding to confess their love for a slut, but get stopped by bangin’ hitchhikers, mutilated hicks, septic shakes, and Yoda sexcapades. As funny as it is scary, you gotta skip down and watch this review NOW!

A special note about this episode that’s also a spoiler (you’ve been warned!), we just wanted to point out we animate our shows a year in advance for scheduling reasons, and this was produced well before Wes Craven passed away last year. So, if you maybe get a little confused by Wes’ appearance or anything he says, that’s why. It was amazing how so many unexpected emotions  came over us here at Screaming Soup! when we heard of his passing, proving just how much of an impression he left on our lives for a guy we never had the pleasure to meet. We’ll always miss Wes and treasure his amazing work he shared with us over the years.

Other than that, be sure to catch up on Screaming Soup! Seasons 1-2 after watching the latest Season 3 episodes, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films we’re watching in our R-Rated Reviews blog, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our Youtube channel, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail coming.

We’ll see ya later, Scream Freaks!

SCREAMING AT CRITTERS KILLED IN HORROR MOVIES!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! This week your host with the most was trying to enjoy some “Zombeavers” on Netflix, when all the fun was suddenly sucked out of the room when my girlfriend, Mandy, saw her one hot button trot across the screen. “They have a dog in this movie?” she gritted, “You know they’re just going to kill it. That’s the only reason why any animals are in horror movies anymore!”

Now, if you recall our review of “Monster Dog,” you’re aware Mandy is a big animal lover and never wants to see any harm done to them, but come on – it’s a movie! It’s not a real! It’s just a bunch of animatronics and CGI shit all over the screen whenever you see a poor critter taken out as a warm up to the characters you’re about to watch get slaughtered. And what about those characters? We can watch people get sliced and diced in every sick way imaginable, but as soon as an animal is found dead on screen – BOOM! Demands are made to change the movie, pouty walk outs happen, and sometimes tears come on like tsunamis.

You remember “Shark Night”? We were psyched to see that when it came out, but holy shit, it was Niagra Falls the moment that hick throws the poor dog into the shark infested waters toward the end. Of course, I don’t budge from the theater because I’m too cheap, but I’ll be damned the dog lives and even helps kill a shark! Rejoice from Mandy, right? Nope. Just a lot of swearing at the filmmakers for putting her through such a traumatic experience. Same thing happened when we saw “Cowboys VS Aliens” at the theater. She found it impossible to enjoy the movie, because the filmmakers let the audience think a dog was killed for about half the movie before showing him alive and well at the very end. What the fuck? It lived, right? What’s the problem? But no, now it’s all about the dog’s owners were killed in the movie and who will take care of it now?

I gave up my side of this argument a long time ago.

What’s even worse is she has her favorite horror movies of all time that actually contradict this whole attitude toward critter deaths in movies. Like John Carpenter’s “Halloween.” Holy fuck, Michael Myers fucking strangles a dog on screen, and the characters even talk about him eating dogs! But it’s not a problem, because, “They’re just showing what an embodiment of evil he is,” she says. That’s why she has no problem watching it every Halloween. And “Jaws” is another favorite of hers. We just watched the 40th anniversary screening at the theater, and I remind her every time that there’s a dog that goes missing in it, and we can easily assume the shark at it. But nope, not an issue. It’s insinuated but never shown. Wow, kind of like you insinuate these ownerless pets in movies will never find anyone to care for them and die alone?

And forget seeing any movie where the animal is the bad guy (besides “Jaws” of course). You couldn’t pay her to sit through “Cujo” or “Prophecy.” She played with the idea of watching “Jurassic World” with me, but dropped it altogether once I warned her how they feed the dinosaurs. We can watch people get chomped in half by CGI dino teeth all day long, but we draw the line at off screen goat feedings.

To bring an end to this rant, this is just something personal your host deals with when watching horror movies and most of my friends think it’s hilarious. Now, this is obviously a long running gag (for me, not so much Mandy) that’s been going on for years now, but I have come to respect Mandy’s feelings on the subject despite my annoyance at some of her viewpoints. Maybe she’s right, and horror could maybe lay off the deaths of poor innocent varmints and just give us more human deaths with depth and character that do a better job of driving the story. We can still have our killer animal movies of course, like giant alligators or rabid rabbits needing to be blown out of their damned existence, but let’s take a proactive step back from our monsters and killers slaughtering an animal for the sake of doing it. But at the same time, remember . . . it’s just a movie! It’s all fake with animal owners getting fat checks off professionally trained critters and special effects guys playing with make-up and pixels. Except “Cannibal Holocaust.” Those were real animal deaths. And so was “The Giant Gila Monster.” The star actually told me they blew that critter up for the film, because it was the days before animal rights. Damn.

By the way, did you ever see “The Beyond”? Remember that great scene when the blind woman is hunkered down next to her seeing eye dog and trying to find the evil force in the room with her just before her dog is possessed and shockingly eats out her throat! That was cool.

Otherwise, be sure you’re caught up with the rest of Screaming Soup! Season 2, use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our Youtube channel, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail coming.

That’s pretty much it for now, so I’ll see ya’ later Scream Freaks!

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