SCREAMING AT 2017’S CHRISTMAS HORROR!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Wow, Christmas is right around the corner, and we’re keepin’ a sharp eye out for any holiday jeer that might interrupt our preparation for our season five premier next month. Killer street Santas, flesh hungry elves, sinister snowmen . . . you never know what cute Christmas character’s gonna jump outta the woodwork as a twisted nightmare lookin’ to deck your halls!

Speakin’ of which, if you’re like us, then you’re always on the hunt for the newest Christmas horror flicks as soon as Halloween’s over. This year’s no different, and we thought we’d give you a heads up on a few of the more notable releases this season.

BETTER WATCH OUT (2016)

When a psycho young’n makes his move on his favorite babysitter while his parents are away at a Christmas party, his demented affections escalate to kidnappin’ and murder that’s sure to put him on the naughty list. A dark little flick with surprise twists and turns, this sick brat keeps you on the edge of your seat just itchin’ to see him get his just desserts by the end. Stellar actin’, sharp cinematography, and full of Christmas spirit, but I don’t think this will be a Christmas horror classic per say since Christmas isn’t integral to the story or villain. Underage drinkin’, stabs in the face, baseball bats to the head, young’ns heads blown off, duct tape saves, manipulated idiots, foiled escapes, Home Alone paint can deaths, mower hangin’s, stabs in the neck, bricks to the head, and sicko twirps that need more than a spankin’! 4/5!

THE ELF (2017)

It’s Christmas Eve, and just when a holiday hatin’ human sloth thinks things can’t get any worse after his fiancé’s unsupportive family drops in for a surprise visit, he accidentally sicks a killer Elf on the Shelf knock-off on them that collects souls for its demi-god’s supernatural hunt. Unfortunately, this flick is more jeer than cheer, and that’s due to a draggin’ pace that makes me feel like me or the filmmakers are stoned with every reaction, movement, and line delivery movin’ at the speed of molasses. The characters, locations, and backstory are introduced in the most confusin’ ways, the wardrobe’s a joke, and there is zero chemistry among the cast which impacts the lead couple from bein’ anywhere close to convincin’. Cursed chests, wrecked geezers playin’ “VROOM!,” stabbin’s, young’ns with mouths sewn shut, toy trapped souls, giftwrapped sacrifices, CGI/puppet prop killers, marriage interventions, random snow, seizure showers, Olive Oyl cosplay, giraffe deformities, and co-starrin’ the Rollin’ Stones lips! 2/5! 

RED CHRISTMAS (2017)

While Dee Wallace celebrates Christmas down under with her Australian family, a horrifyin’ mistake from her past limps to her front door and asks for acceptance into the family he never had least he kills them all. Much better than I expected, this violent holiday horror hooks me with its drama and the mystery of the hulkin’ visitor cosplayin’ as a mummy but sadly loses all that momentum by the third act when it all progresses into a meanderin’ game of cat and mouse. And just to get it out of my system (SPOILER ALERT), when does havin’ Down Syndrome mean bein’ a super strong behemoth with a monstrous mug? Bear trap hats gone wrong, pissin’ on the poor, dick rippin’, strangulations, artists chopped in half, prego bangin’, stabbin’s, Christmas births, axe-wieldin’ abortions, explosive backstories, fatal gunshots, and axes through the head! 3/5!

MOTHER KRAMPUS aka 12 DEATHS OF CHRISTMAS (2017)

Don’t let the title fool ya, ’cause this ain’t really a Krampus flick but a movie ’bout one of his Eastern Europe associates, Frau Perchta the Christmas Witch. The children of a small town are disappearin’, and their panicked parents think it’s the fulfillment of a decades ol’ curse cast by a witch they lynched for supposedly killin’ their young’ns. With only a handful of families left hidin’ from Perchta’s punishment Christmas Eve night, the supernatural assassin of the naughty moves fast to round up the remainin’ rugrats and slaughter their folks for their sins. Despite Perchta bein’ falsely advertised as Krampus, she still proves herself worthy of spreadin’ holiday fear in her own feature. The actin’s decent, there’s some creative kills, and the musical score is waaay too good for this feature with unnervin’ drones and creepy renditions of Christmas tunes. The biggest flaws I gotta bitch ’bout mainly regard the script with characters repeatin’ the same backstory over and over again, a convoluted plot that can stand to cut or combine certain details, and loose ends with the fate of the captured brats that somehow plays into the bigger picture of keepin’ the last young’n safe. Disembowelments, innards stuffed with yard waste and Christmas lights, heart rippin’, human Christmas décor, axes in the head, burnin’ facials, strangers with candy, stabbin’s, turkey cosplay feasts, flesh cookies, mouths sewn shut, Candyman nods, blood lickin’, satanic inductions, family drama out the ass, and boyfriends literally eatin’ their girlfriends! 3/5!

These flicks might be horse short of an open sleigh ride when compared to classics like Gremlins, Krampus, or the Silent Night, Deadly Night series, but still worth a watch on those cold dreary nights ’round the Christmas tree. For a list that claims to be the ultimate in namin’ and rankin’ every Christmas horror movie ever made, check out this link HERE and cross reference potential films you wanna see with our own R-Rated Reviews to see if it’s worth your time.

In the meantime, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’.

Warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

See ya later, Scream Freaks!

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SCREAMING AT GHOULIGANS CHRISTMAS!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Like most everyone else about now, we’ve been occupied with scratching the itch to see the Star wars sequel we’ve all been waiting for, and luckily, it didn’t disappoint! But when our attention’s not in a galaxy far far away, we’ve been solely focused on making sure this upcoming season of Screaming Soup! is gonna outshine the rest.

We’ll never forget when a good friend of ours was reviewing an episode for us halfway through the production of Season 2, and toward the end he started fastfowarding. “Why did you do that?” we asked. “Because I know what’s going to happen.” That was just the reality check we needed to realize the episodes were getting a little too patterned and predictable, and we needed to change up the show to keep the interests of you Scream Freaks. This evolution began with the Slime City review in episode 17, and slowly built up little by little for setting up the new format that’ll be seen in Season 3. What that means is you’ll be seeing more out of Deadwest and the gang with fully developed story arcs, high stakes action, and some new wild locations that expands the Crosslands beyond the Howl-Inn Grub and Spirits.

Luckily, we were smart enough to start a yearly schedule for producing a full season of Screaming Soup!, meaning we have 12 months to animate a season before its premier. So, while you’re watching Season 2, we’re working on Season 3. We typically like to wrap up production by Halloween so we can enjoy the holidays and just prep for the following season, but we have fallen behind some this year for a couple of reasons. One reason we’re just now working on the season finale for season 3 is because of those Bruce Campbell videos we made for Halloween, and then the Ghouligans enlisted our services for a Christmas music video. Yup, this gang of top notch horror entertainers were impressed enough with their cameo in the Season 2 finale, that they wanted more! It was interesting working on another show’s animation, but it was a lot of fun, and those guys are just a great lot to work with. So, if you haven’t seen that video yet, watch below, and because it’s G-rated, you can share it with your friends and family!

Enough rambling already! Be sure to catch up on Screaming Soup! Seasons 1-2 before the premier of Season 3 1/20/16, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our Youtube channel, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail coming.

I’ll see ya later, Scream Freaks!

SCREAMING AT KRAMPUS!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! With enough sleep and shaman medicine, we’ve defeated the uncommon cold since you last heard from us and are ready to kick off the Krampus season! No, not Christmas – Krampus! That’s right, Michael Dougherty’s Krampus comes out this weekend, and that’s got us more pumped than any Star Wars movie! We remember the first time we heard of the Christmas boogeyman when he made his unforgettable appearance on Adult Swim’s Venture Bros. Christmas Special that had us asking, “What the fuck is that thing?” We’ve done plenty of reading up on this mythical creature since then, and quickly became fans of the original Bad Santa.

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For those who don’t know (or can’t use Wikipedia), the Krampus is a creature from German folklore that basically shadows Santa Clause Christmas night, punishing the naughty children while St. Nick rewards the good kids with presents. The punishment Krampus dishes out varies from culture to culture. Sometimes he’s swatting children with birch branches or leaving coal in their stockings, and other times he’s actually snatching kids from their homes to drown, eat, or whisk to hell. Quite the Grimm fairy tale isn’t he?

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Somehow the legend of the Krampus was suppressed over the decades (maybe centuries?), and has only recently been making a comeback the last few years, finally blowing up pop culture this Christmas! There’s Krampus Christmas cards, sweaters, t-shirts, dolls, parades, statues, comics, TV appearances, and big budget movies! Yes, Krampus had a handful of humble low-budget breaks into film the last few years, but mainstream movie companies have finally seen the writing on the wall and realized Krampus was movie monster gold and now everyone’s clamoring for him! Even Kevin Smith announced he’ll be starting production on his own Krampus anthology film for next year.

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Now, before the movie industry blows up with Krampus fever, the list of his cinematic exploits is still fairly small and easily obtainable for horror fans wanting to collect them. There’s been Night of the Krampus from 2013 which we haven’t seen ourselves yet, and Krampus – The Christmas Devil from 2014 that was, holy shit, a movie bomb that may as well be coal in your stocking. The best thing about that movie was the cover which is really a promise waiting to blow-up in your face as soon as you push play. Then of course, you have the 3 newest entries this year, Krampus The Reckoning, A Christmas Horror Story, and Krampus. We’re not in a hurry to see Reckoning because of the cover but did see A Christmas Horror Story. This anthology was good but not the greatest horror movie in our opinion. We felt the stories lacked a lot of POW! for their endings, not all the creatures were exactly Christmas related, and the Krampus was underplayed and a little too superhero in appearance for our tastes. His segment was more or less an uneventful cat and mouse chase with him pursuing a family of jerks, but the filmmakers did introduce an interesting explanation for how Krampus is summoned which we liked. We’d give it like 3.5/5, and think it makes a great addition to any horror fan’s holiday fright collection.

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Krampus is what we’re really looking forward to. From what we’ve seen in the trailers, this should be everything we could ask for; scares, effects, laughs, and (fingers crossed) story. Krampus, don’t fail us now! We’ll definetly be sharing our thoughts on the movie after the weekend. And if you haven’t heard already, there’s also a companion comic that was released in conjunction with the Krampus movie that I’d also recommend picking up.

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Enough rambling already! Be sure to catch up on Screaming Soup! Seasons 1-2 before the premier of Season 3 1/20/16, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our Youtube channel, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail coming.

I’ll see ya later, Scream Freaks!

 

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