SCREAMING AT SCARY STORIES WITH MANDY!

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Do you want to hear a scary story?

When someone asks that question, the undeniable desire to say yes goes deeper than DNA. Something integral to most souls screams at the darkness and anxiously awaits a response to confirm the horrors we’ve always known are there. The filmmakers behind Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark skillfully explore that timeless concept, and they use the most effective medium known to man: a motley crew of captivating kids.

From The Goonies to Stranger Things, there’s nothing like coming-of-age angst to fuel an adventure, and the Scary Stories ensemble definitely has the “It” factor . . . lovable outcasts with believable quirks. This movie may not resonate with some genre fans who’ve set the meter to one extreme or another—either “Goosebumps” or hardcore horror. The viewer has the feeling that everything is going to be okay, so we’re safe on this ride, but it still takes us through the twists and tunnels of the scariest place of all, our childhood imagination.

I recently watched a documentary on the Scary Stories book series, which is a straightforward presentation of short stories that have been retold in assorted iterations across many cultures and generations. You probably can’t name the writer, because he never became wildly famous, but you’re familiar with one who provided commentary on his work: R.L. Stine. Ironically, like the Scary Stories screenwriters and director, Stine chose to fictionalize and build on the influences of folklore, and that usually is better for the bank account. The original book might have thrived as a nonfiction work for adults had it included all the research the documentary revealed the author had conducted on versions and details of the stories. Of course, the books became infamous, as they were banned from school libraries; in one way or another, their legends outlived the author who collected them.

I mention this because Scary Stories ultimately is a writer’s movie. As in numerous Stephen King classics, the main character aspires to a literary life, but first, Stella, the plucky protagonist, well played by Zoe Margaret Colletti, will have to fight for her actual life as she and her friends discover the real story behind a myth and learn that humans can be monsters.

The film is set in the Vietnam era and uses industrialism, racism, and other timely issues simply as effective context for the characters. Perhaps one of the reasons the movie is both appropriate for the PG-13 demographic and a great summertime escape for adults is that the writers brilliantly avoid personal political and social statements. The moral of the story is a commentary on the importance of telling the right story and not allowing complacency or fear to necessarily perpetuate some of the tales we’ve been told to believe.

If someone asks you to go see this “Scary Story,” say yes!

-Mandy

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

SCREAMING AT SOME FRIGHTFUL R & R!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Hope ya enjoyed our designated hour of the second annual Creepy Channel Crawl last week and learned a valuable survival lesson why ya should steer clear of showers. The crawl was the iron butt challenge of YouTube marathons but so worth the couch sores to meet promisin’ newbies on the HorrorTube scene while reconnectin’ with some movie reviewin’ vets we like to think of as our contemporaries. As fun as it all was, however, all that excitement took a big drain on the ol’ battery.

After 28 hours of this frightening social experiment at the end of an already long week bustin’ our tailbones in preparation for it, we had to take a minute and catch our final breath. But we ain’t normal folk who think down time is loungin’ by the beach or takin’ long drives through Bob Ross paintings while blasting Yanni. Nope, as unrelaxin’ as it sounds, our idea of chillin’ is kickin’ back to a barrage of horror movies playin’ non-stop on the boob tube while brainstormin’ new ideas for Screaming Soup! vids and merch.

Course we still have some video projects still in motion we have every intention of wrappin’ up soon (a long delayed interview with our friends at The Horror Show and one to two Graphic Violence vids), but once those are knocked out and our epic fifth season of animated adventures to hell and back is finally wrapped up, we’ve got plenty of ideas for content that will keep the channel more regularly active between animated reviews.

As far as merch is concerned, we’ve been tellin’ you Scream Freaks we’ve been squeezin’ in whatever time we can to produce a Screaming Soup! comic, and that sucker startin’ pickin’ up steam this week! We’re halfway through the art for the first issue now, and this is the furthest we’ve EVER gotten makin’ a comic which is pretty monumental for us given the level of commitment it takes when we’re already booked with animatin’ the web’s #1 animated horror host show, 9-5 jobs, and day to day family stuff. Look below for a little sneak peek at what we’ve got so far of what’s planned to be a 4-issue mini-series featurin’ a few of us before we arrived at the Howl-Inn Grub & Spirits!

Anyways, we’ve had our fill of lolly gaggin’ and ready to saddle up for more animated hi-jinks y’all tell us ya love so much. Giddy up!!

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

SCREAMING AT M.I.B. INTERNATIONAL!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! While things haven’t exactly slowed down ’round here with us deep in production of our next excitin’ episode of Screaming Soup!, we did manage to break away long ‘nough to check out the newest Men In Black sequel, M.I.B. International. Fans have always judged the sequels ‘gainst the filmmakin’ ingredients that made an instant classic of the original ’90s flick starrin’ Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones as buddy space cops humorously bustin’ e.t. baddies, but this latest entry is the most susceptible to critics’ venom ’cause it abandons our favorite agents for all new characters we hope can even be half as entertainin’.

In a nutshell, M.I.B. International is ’bout Agent M, the newest rookie to join the world’s only defense ‘gainst intergalactic scumwads, and her first assignment is at the M.I.B.’s European branch where she meets Agent H and investigates a suspected mole in the organization who’s aidin’ an e.t. invasion of Earth. The newest M.I.B. partners are played by Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth, and this duo is brilliantly written as clever role reversals of Agent J and K from the earlier movies. Rather than a mouthy street smart rookie bouncin’ off a weathered straight man, the rookie is now the straight man (er, woman) havin’ some fun friction with glory boy who’s still ridin’ a wave of fame he earned from stoppin’ a major invasion three years earlier. With the leads already provin’ their onscreen chemistry and natural knack for comedy in Thor: Ragnarok, and the filmmakers keepin’ the M.I.B. world and mythos familiar while still providin’ an adventure more epic than the previous films, this flick should be a slam-dunk, but somethin’ just doesn’t click for us.

While the movie is as far removed from suckage as you can hope for, it still has a lot of sours we think contribute to it’s lackluster appeal. For one, Agent M’s whole character feels as underdeveloped as her social life. When she was a young’n, she witness the M.I.B. nueralizin’ her parents while lookin’ for a fuzzy e.t. she found hidin’ in her bedroom. She helps the outer space critter escape (despite the agents never botherin’ to search her house) and starts a lifelong obsession huntin’ down the secret organization to join its ranks. Flash forward years later, she’s interviewin’ for jobs with all these different branches of government she hopes will lead her to the M.I.B. all the while workin’ some IT hotline job where she hacks into NASA satellite feeds for clues to alien activity. So — we get she’s smart, but what’s exactly her expertise? Even when she’s in the hot seat with the M.I.B. grillin’ her for reasons why they should recruit her, she never says if she’s multi-lingual, a computer whiz, Mensa member, professional kickboxer – nothin’! Her initial M.I.B. trainin’ montage even goes by in a blip, givin’ us a bleak understandin’ as to how long they groom her ‘fore sendin’ her to Europe. All we see are a few test scores showin’ she’s smart and can kick ass. Well, what part of any of that covers how she knows all ’bout thermo-dynamic doohickeys later on in the movie and where’d she learn that kinda stuff?!

The rest of the sours are pretty trivial, but doesn’t help things when there’s too many of ’em. Like (spoiler alert) if the big bad guy is this e.t. that’s like John Carpenter’s The Thing, copyin’ folks from the inside out and whatever, then why does it only take over the head of the M.I.B. office in Europe ‘stead of all its agents in body snatcher fashion? Would have certainly made the fizzle of an endin’ more excitin’! And speakin’ of the endin’, what’s with all those silly melodramatic voice overs forced in there that don’t really match what’s happenin’? And couldn’t Agent H do more than just get bitch slapped ’round the whole scene and repeat the same tired dialogue over and over again?

But the saddest thing, above all else, is the movie just isn’t funny. Crazy, we know, given all the ingredients are there to guarantee at least a solid chuckle, but — nope. We didn’t laugh one time. We can tell where the filmmakers want us to laugh, but it just never connected with our funny bones the way they supposedly intended. And that really sucks, too, ’cause we would have overlooked and forgiven so much of the sours we mentioned if it only made us laugh. It’s as if the movie maybe took itself a little too serious, or just lacked that touch of panache that made director Barry Sonnenfeld’s flicks so special.

Overall, a content way to spend a rainy afternoon, but nothin’ special ‘nough to rewatch anytime soon . . . 3/5!

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

SCREAMING AT EXTREME FOCUS!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Happy to see ya back and hope ya enjoyed our newest animated review we premiered last week, Creatures From the Abyss. Things got so sticky, we’re still blowin’ our mugs into rolls of TP to ensure there ain’t anymore of that monstrous booger in our nasal caverns. Now that we’re mere episodes away from wrappin’ up our most epic season yet, we’re kickin’ things up a notch and goin’ all out to produce this final stretch before Halloween rears its mischievous head.

With plenty more monsters and guest stars to come as we enter the final levels of hell, we ain’t lettin’ nothin’ not nobody distract us from pumpin’ these crucial episodes to y’all as quickly as we can. Well, we say that, but there is gonna be the occasional side project or payin’ gig we’ll be compelled to do for one reason or another. Full Moon contacted us for more art, we’re assistin’ with some friends with their film company title screens, and have a potential client lookin’ to hire us for whippin’ up a one shot comic book for them while we’re busy tryin’ to produce our own mini-series prequel for Screaming Soup! (which, great news, we’re already drawn the first handful of pages!).

Never the less, regardless how full our hands get, we’re never takin’ breaks from the show and keepin’ you Scream Freaks our first priority. We know how bad ya need yer servin’ of animated reviews, and we want to get it to ya even worse.

Oh, and on a side note – folks have been askin’ ’bout the Scream Freak Film Contest. It’s original deadline was back in 2018, but once our production schedule got blow outta the water, we changed it to whenever episode 48 premiers. By then, we’re hopin’ to have even more entries, providin’ us with plenty of indie cinema to share with y’all in celebration of our 50th episode. So, we do have clocks and calendars and know how to read ’em. We’re just too lazy to update bits of contest information here and there which is shame on us.

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

SCREAMING AT BRAINSTORMING!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Things have certainly calmed down ’round here since our visit to Mad Monster Party, and we’re back at the grindstone workin’ on new content for the show as we speak. New audio tracks have been laid for the next excitin’ episode, there’s new pin-ups of your favorite Howl-Inn Grub & Spirits hotties comin’, we’re ’bout to jump on editin’ our long overdue review of every Michael Myers comic, and currently wrappin’ up commercial spots we’ve been animatin’ for new Roku channels we’re contactin’ to play reruns of Screaming Soup!

Aside from all that, we’ve also been spendin’ a lot of time thinkin’ of ways to keep our YouTube channel more lively since our output significantly slowed down thanks to bein’ more ambitious with the animation which takes a little longer. Some ideas we’ve tossed ’round are more reviews of a specific theme without the animated bookends like Graphic Violence and Re-Animated Reviews to fill in the gaps between episodes. We’re brainstormin’ vids focused on horror trivia horror newbies should know, extreme horror movies for cinema sickos, black and white horror flicks that don’t suck . . . Another thought we had was to maybe turn our R-Rated Reviews blog into weekly 15-30 minute podcast kinda videos with us discussin’ the movies we recently checked out. The blog would still be updated like normal, but y’all would get a more lively unscripted review of these movies with back and forth chatter among your favorite characters. Let us know what you’d be most interested in seein’!

We’re also revisitin’ the idea of creatin’ a Patreon account. We always hesitated before, ’cause we couldn’t think of any good incentives we could offer and easily keep up with, but after a lot of research and talkin’ with fellow YouTubers, we think we might have somethin’ that can work. But no worries! An incentive will never be the ability to watch our show, ’cause that will ALWAYS be free to watch. The incentives we’re considerin’ have more to do with behind the scenes access and Screaming Soup! merch of some kind.

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

For all you fearmakers out there workin’ on your next scary feature, remember to shoot it our way as an entry in our Scream Freak Film Contest! Three winners will be reviewed in our 50th episode and promoted to all the Scream Freaks lookin’ for the next big thing Hollywood’s too scared to capitalize on. The deadline is open ’til we publish our 49th episode!

SCREAMING AT PROPHECY!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Strap in for a haunted trail ride, ’cause we’re hitchin’ up to save Billy from hell where the Iron Horsemen of Doom wanna sacrifice our favorite mascot for end of days kinda trouble. Tarnations, this is gonna be tougher than our third and fourth seasons combined! Especially since we gotta get past one particular cursed obstacle who’s none to happy we’re cuttin’ through his yard to get to where we’re goin’. But we’ll get to that trouble in the episode below . . .

This time ’round, we review one of our personal favorite horror flicks we’ve waited years to share with ya – Prophecy! Yessir, not to be confused with those Christopher Walken flicks ’bout feudin’ angels, this is a late ’70s environmental terror that’ll leave ya too scared to ever picnic in the woods again for fear inside out jelly sausage bears will tear ya limb from limb and wipe its asses with ya like a Charmin commercial. It’s been years since we first saw it, but this movie’s tension never loosened its grip on us with its spine tinglin’ sequences of an unforgettable monster huntin’ likable heroes against an epically desolate backdrop. While it’s true Prophecy has been a target of ridicule over the decades and was even the winner of the Son of Golden Turkey Awards for worst killer bear movie, we defiantly scoff at the popular vote and stand by this monster romp for reasons you just gotta see for yourself in the vid below!

But before you jump headfirst into our newest review, here’s some quick updates. We’re still workin’ on the scripts for our review of the Halloween comics, and aimi’ to throw that Graphic Violence review up next. The Screaming Soup! comic is ready to be drawn when we can find the time, and be sure to ask your comic shop for the third issue of Dollman comin’ out this week, ’cause one of the alternate covers is ours! Not to mention, we got an even more bad-ass lookin’ parody ad inside for an 8 bit Puppet Master game you’re gonna wish was real!

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’.

For all you fearmakers out there workin’ on your next scary feature, remember to shoot it our way as an entry in our Scream Freak Film Contest! Three winners will be reviewed in our 50th episode and promoted to all the Scream Freaks lookin’ for the next big thing Hollywood’s too scared to capitalize on. Deadline’s 8/20/18, so hurry!

Warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

See ya later, Scream Freaks!

SCREAMING AT HARDWARE AND DEATH MACHINE!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Throw your claws in the air and scream, ’cause it’s time for an ALL NEW episode of Screaming Soup! Durin’ your last visit to the Howl-Inn Grub & Spirits, things were gettin’ pretty damned hectic with the arrival of the Iron Horsemen of Doom. These mean hombres wanna send the Crosslands back into the dark ages to return their fallen masters to power, and they need our Billy to do it! Tarnations! Big top bar brawls, nuclear crossovers, and now this?!

Good thin’ we got plenty of movies to help us cope with all the stress, and this time ’round, we take a look at two rock ’em sock ’em battle bot flicks from the ’90s called Hardware and Death Machine. Late to the party, we neglected these techno nightmares for far too long and are more than happy to finally check them off our bucket list. We were completely in the dark regardin’ Hardware for the longest time but hunted this sucker down after readin’ a pretty enamored review in Fangoria’s book, 101 Best Horror Movies You’ve Never Seen. Death Machine, on the other claw, is somethin’ we regretfully passed up in the video aisles for years, never suspectin’ that ambiguous box art was giftwrappin’ a unique mish mash of movie mayhem we’ve come to love and always on the lookout for. Thank Craven for Netflix offerin’ this at one point and helpin’ correct the errors of our ignorant ways.

But enough ’bout that. You’re eager to watch the new episode, we’re anxious to show it, so skip on down and get on with it for both our sakes. Let’s rewatch this sucker ’til our eyes bleed and then catch back up with the new Joe Bob Briggs marathon on Shudder this comin’ weekend, what do ya say?

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’.

For all you fearmakers out there workin’ on your next scary feature, remember to shoot it our way as an entry in our Scream Freak Film Contest! Three winners will be reviewed in our 50th episode and promoted to all the Scream Freaks lookin’ for the next big thing Hollywood’s too scared to capitalize on. Deadline’s 8/20/18, so hurry!

Warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

See ya later, Scream Freaks!

SCREAMING AT ONE BIG EPISODE!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! This week, we think we finally gotta face facts and not be too hard on ourselves. For the first time in the history of our show, we might not get an episode out by our monthly deadline. How could somethin’ like this happen you ask? Well, most of you regular Scream Freaks who visit the site have kept up with our weekly work drama, but we’ll recap for the newbies.

When we first kicked off this animated rodeo, we were always a year ahead of what we were releasin’ to keep y’all fed with regular content on a monthly basis. While you were watchin’ episode 11, we were already animatin’ episode 21 while preparin’ the script and art for episode 31 at the same time. This routine of multitaskin’ worked liked clockwork for a talkin’ heads show with characters anchored to a table, but we got more ambitious over time and started lettin’ our ghoulish gang run wild through the Crosslands. Obviously, more action means  a lot more work animation-wise, and we dedicated many more hours designin’ and animatin’ new characters and places for them to wreak havoc in. Little bit at a time, this epic undertakin’ became more and more complicated and ate away at that year’s worth of cushion we had for any unforeseen circumstances and hiccups that might throw us behind schedule.

While our fanatic series of Bruce Campbell themed vids were the start of our schedule slips, that final fight in our Season Three finale took even more cushion away from us, and this past season with Full Moon Empire ate up the rest. Now, we’re animatin’ our episodes as we go and releasin’ them as soon as they’re done. To keep up the pace we’ve set for ourselves and meet the expectations we’ve given y’all, we’re spendin’ every second we can spare workin’ on Screaming Soup! and only want to produce a quality show that never fails to deliver comic book adventures, slapstick laughs, and insightful reviews of B-movies we think y’all should know about. It’s not like we’re paranoid y’all are gonna get riled up over this and bash us for bein’ late, but we just wanna let you know we’re always workin’ on the show and to bear with us. Never forget we’re folks doin’ this for no money while workin’ full time jobs and raisin’ families. So, the next episode with Homicidal Homemaker and the Mummy and the Monkey may be ridin’ in a little late, but we promise you it’s gonna be worth the wait, Scream Freaks!

To divert from all that melodrama, we want to thank Gori from the Horror Addicts for givin’ us this boner fan art below that now graces our fridge, and fellow horror hosts, The Angry Bros., for helpin’ scream the word around ’bout our show with an article spotlightin’ us as a true horror hostin’ gem everybody should check out. We appreciate it, partners, and encourage our fans to check out their article (HERE) as well as their YouTube channel (HERE). We also share our two cents on more horror comics that have come out recently in our Sequential Slime blog, and anyone who cares to hear us go voicebox to voicebox with a podcaster doin’ Sly Stallone impressions, be sure to visit our friends over at the Bearded Ones Podcast and give a listen at 8 minutes into their program. The judge is none other than our good buddy Jason Underwood who played Toxie this past season, and was the one who invited us to the showdown.

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’.

For all you fearmakers out there workin’ on your next scary feature, remember to shoot it our way as an entry in our Scream Freak Film Contest! Three winners will be reviewed in our 50th episode and promoted to all the Scream Freaks lookin’ for the next big thing Hollywood’s too scared to capitalize on. Deadline’s 8/20/18, so hurry!

Warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

See ya later, Scream Freaks!

SCREAMING AT 2017’S CHRISTMAS HORROR!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Wow, Christmas is right around the corner, and we’re keepin’ a sharp eye out for any holiday jeer that might interrupt our preparation for our season five premier next month. Killer street Santas, flesh hungry elves, sinister snowmen . . . you never know what cute Christmas character’s gonna jump outta the woodwork as a twisted nightmare lookin’ to deck your halls!

Speakin’ of which, if you’re like us, then you’re always on the hunt for the newest Christmas horror flicks as soon as Halloween’s over. This year’s no different, and we thought we’d give you a heads up on a few of the more notable releases this season.

BETTER WATCH OUT (2016)

When a psycho young’n makes his move on his favorite babysitter while his parents are away at a Christmas party, his demented affections escalate to kidnappin’ and murder that’s sure to put him on the naughty list. A dark little flick with surprise twists and turns, this sick brat keeps you on the edge of your seat just itchin’ to see him get his just desserts by the end. Stellar actin’, sharp cinematography, and full of Christmas spirit, but I don’t think this will be a Christmas horror classic per say since Christmas isn’t integral to the story or villain. Underage drinkin’, stabs in the face, baseball bats to the head, young’ns heads blown off, duct tape saves, manipulated idiots, foiled escapes, Home Alone paint can deaths, mower hangin’s, stabs in the neck, bricks to the head, and sicko twirps that need more than a spankin’! 4/5!

THE ELF (2017)

It’s Christmas Eve, and just when a holiday hatin’ human sloth thinks things can’t get any worse after his fiancé’s unsupportive family drops in for a surprise visit, he accidentally sicks a killer Elf on the Shelf knock-off on them that collects souls for its demi-god’s supernatural hunt. Unfortunately, this flick is more jeer than cheer, and that’s due to a draggin’ pace that makes me feel like me or the filmmakers are stoned with every reaction, movement, and line delivery movin’ at the speed of molasses. The characters, locations, and backstory are introduced in the most confusin’ ways, the wardrobe’s a joke, and there is zero chemistry among the cast which impacts the lead couple from bein’ anywhere close to convincin’. Cursed chests, wrecked geezers playin’ “VROOM!,” stabbin’s, young’ns with mouths sewn shut, toy trapped souls, giftwrapped sacrifices, CGI/puppet prop killers, marriage interventions, random snow, seizure showers, Olive Oyl cosplay, giraffe deformities, and co-starrin’ the Rollin’ Stones lips! 2/5! 

RED CHRISTMAS (2017)

While Dee Wallace celebrates Christmas down under with her Australian family, a horrifyin’ mistake from her past limps to her front door and asks for acceptance into the family he never had least he kills them all. Much better than I expected, this violent holiday horror hooks me with its drama and the mystery of the hulkin’ visitor cosplayin’ as a mummy but sadly loses all that momentum by the third act when it all progresses into a meanderin’ game of cat and mouse. And just to get it out of my system (SPOILER ALERT), when does havin’ Down Syndrome mean bein’ a super strong behemoth with a monstrous mug? Bear trap hats gone wrong, pissin’ on the poor, dick rippin’, strangulations, artists chopped in half, prego bangin’, stabbin’s, Christmas births, axe-wieldin’ abortions, explosive backstories, fatal gunshots, and axes through the head! 3/5!

MOTHER KRAMPUS aka 12 DEATHS OF CHRISTMAS (2017)

Don’t let the title fool ya, ’cause this ain’t really a Krampus flick but a movie ’bout one of his Eastern Europe associates, Frau Perchta the Christmas Witch. The children of a small town are disappearin’, and their panicked parents think it’s the fulfillment of a decades ol’ curse cast by a witch they lynched for supposedly killin’ their young’ns. With only a handful of families left hidin’ from Perchta’s punishment Christmas Eve night, the supernatural assassin of the naughty moves fast to round up the remainin’ rugrats and slaughter their folks for their sins. Despite Perchta bein’ falsely advertised as Krampus, she still proves herself worthy of spreadin’ holiday fear in her own feature. The actin’s decent, there’s some creative kills, and the musical score is waaay too good for this feature with unnervin’ drones and creepy renditions of Christmas tunes. The biggest flaws I gotta bitch ’bout mainly regard the script with characters repeatin’ the same backstory over and over again, a convoluted plot that can stand to cut or combine certain details, and loose ends with the fate of the captured brats that somehow plays into the bigger picture of keepin’ the last young’n safe. Disembowelments, innards stuffed with yard waste and Christmas lights, heart rippin’, human Christmas décor, axes in the head, burnin’ facials, strangers with candy, stabbin’s, turkey cosplay feasts, flesh cookies, mouths sewn shut, Candyman nods, blood lickin’, satanic inductions, family drama out the ass, and boyfriends literally eatin’ their girlfriends! 3/5!

These flicks might be horse short of an open sleigh ride when compared to classics like Gremlins, Krampus, or the Silent Night, Deadly Night series, but still worth a watch on those cold dreary nights ’round the Christmas tree. For a list that claims to be the ultimate in namin’ and rankin’ every Christmas horror movie ever made, check out this link HERE and cross reference potential films you wanna see with our own R-Rated Reviews to see if it’s worth your time.

In the meantime, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’.

Warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

See ya later, Scream Freaks!

SCREAMING AT BIG FANDOM GREENVILLE 2017!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! We figured things would slow down after our Season 4 finale, but woowee, were we wrong! This weekend is the 2nd annual Big Fandom Greenville convention, and we’re armed to the teeth with all new panels regardin’ horrific cinema folks probably never knew existed.

Our first panel is scheduled for 9pm tonight, and we’ll be takin’ a deep dirty look at some of the craziest sex scenes in horror entertainment to date. While most horror fans, even in our gang, want to yammer on about the sexual predator sticks in Evil Dead and the fun perversion of From Dusk ’til Dawn, we really want to focus on more obscure titles to give the die-hard fans new stuff to look for. Why go over the same ol’ mainstream moments on endless countdown lists when there’s literally thousands of other noteworthy flicks no one’s talkin’ about, you know?

Same goes for our last panel scheduled at 7pm on Saturday, 11/18/17. A handful of our gang put their heads together and came up with a fun list of the silliest slashers and B-movie beasts we’ve ever seen in horror movies and will be havin’ a howlin’ time sharin’ that with curious con guests. This includes some of the most laugh out loud monsters already reviewed in past Screaming Soup! episodes like Bloodfreak and Oversexed Rugsuckers From Mars, but there’s plenty of new one’s sure to send you on an inspired quest for your next gotta-have creature feature.

We’ve had our technical problems in the past when it came to recordin’ these events for your viewin’ pleasure, but fangs crossed, we’ll at least be able to turn this weekend’s panels into podcast-like videos with the slideshows we use as visuals. Speakin’ of videos, we’ve begun expandin’ our presence through the worldwide web and created new Screaming Soup! channels on other video platforms such as Twitch and Vidme. We’re just startin’ to upload our past episodes on them right now and should have everything up to date by the time our fifth season premiers at the end of January ’18. After that, every new video we produce will be published on each platform, givin’ our show more than one doomsday back-up if YouTube were to ever shut us down or crash from unhappy creators revoltin’. Links to our channels on Twitch and Vidme have been added to the upper right corner of the site, and we invite y’all to explore these alternatives to YouTube the same time we’re learnin’ about them.

In the meantime, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’.

Warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

See ya later, Scream Freaks!

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