SCREAMING AT THE CLASS OF NUKE ‘EM HIGH SERIES!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! School’s out for summer, and we’re blowin’ it to pieces with hard hittin’ radioactive reviews of Troma’s Class of Nuke ‘Em High series. Yessir, we commit to givin’ ya hard lessons in readin’, writin’, and radiation, and show you why this is the only other Troma series aside from Toxic Avenger that’s worth makin’ sequels out of. Classes include the original cult hit that captures one of cinema’s most memorable gangs, Brick Bronsky’s two movie demo reel about subhumanoids, and the soft gender swappin’ reboot/sequel that came out a few short years ago. We would liked to have seen the newest Return to Return to Nuke ‘Em High flick and help generate some buzz with a review for it, but it’s not available for purchase yet. We could have asked for an early-bird promotional copy, but certain you-know-who’s ain’t exactly been cooperative this season.

As far as the story goes, this final half of a 2-part special picks right back up with us defendin’ the Howl-Inn Grub & Spirits from a hell raisin’ gang who’s busy sickin’ a big ass mutant against a Robot Jox mech driven by Full Moon’s Killjoy. Lots of deaths, several horror Easter eggs, plenty of action, bookoos of monsters, we see the return of Brainbasher from Season 3 . . . we just continue raisin’ the stakes for the war this episode and keep blowin’ the animation out to accommodate it all.

As is the tradition this season, we did have another “Spot the Dollman Contest” this episode, and the lucky winner to find the 13″ cop with an attitude is Sean Garver from Batesville, Arkansas. Congrats Scream Freak, and hope you enjoy your random Full Moon DVD and original piece of Screaming Soup! artwork. To see past winners and prizes for the “Spot the Dollman Contest” click HERE.

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our YouTube channel, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail coming.

Warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns scheduled to play on Sluggo’s The Vortexx (after 9PM EST Sunday and Wednesday nights)!

If you need the hook-up with instant Troma and Full Moon movies, we’d suggest watching Troma’s films for free on their Youtube channel, and you can get full access to Full Moon’s catalog of work from their movies to their Videozone clips at Full Moon Streaming and their Amazon channel.

See ya later, Scream Freaks!

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SCREAMING AT CHRISTMAS HORROR FILMS!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Christmas is closing in on us once again, but it’s okay, because everyone’s been preparing for it since September! And while there’s those snuggled in their eyesore homes, eagerly waiting for their annual holiday viewing of the Grinch or Elf, we know you’re spikin’ that ‘nog and poppin’ in something a little scarier. From killer Santas to mutant snowmen, plenty of Christmas lores have been twisted into some form of sick horror entertainment, and we’ve seen our fair share of it!

In the spirit of a Christmas to dismember, we decided to share with you a small list of Christmas horror movies we think are worth your time as you count down the nights ’til you can rip those gifts out from under that tree. They have strong Christmas themes in them from the killers to the music and settings, just enough to keep you in the spirit of the season . . .

z01JACK FROST (1996)

Not the young’ns’ version with Michael Keaton resurrected as a friendly snowman, but the adult version with a fugitive serial killer transformed into living snow like a comic book villain. Known for its scene with him raping Shannon Elizabeth in the shower with his carrot nose! 4/5!

 

z02ELVES (1989)

TV’s Grizzly Adams plays a mall Santa fighting Nazis and their elaborate plans for world domination with a killer rubber elf. 3/5!  

 

 

z09SANTA’S SLAY (2005)

Wrestling’s Goldberg gives his greatest performance as a Krampus-like Santa who tears through a small town in search of the angel who cursed him to deliver gifts to good youngn’s for a millennia. Nothing but sick Christmas fun here with great characters, hell deer, strip clubs, stop-motion flashbacks, and over the top kills with one of the best opening scenes you’ll ever see! 5/5!

z11KRAMPUS (2015)

The best Krampus movie by-far, this hits all the right notes from the humor to the fear,  giving off a very Spielberg vibe. Great story, loveable cast, awesome monsters, disturbing scenes . . . we think Krampus looks too much like a deformed wizard but eh – can’t have everything we guess! 5/5!

 

z03BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006)

The original Black Christmas was creepier with its unexplained killer, but we enjoy this remake because it treats the killer like a Batman villain with his discolored skin, fucked up origin story, and escape from an insane asylum. Doesn’t hurt there’s plenty of eye candy as well, like Katie Cassidy and Michelle Trachtenberg. 4/5! 

 

z06SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT 5: THE TOY MAKER (1991)

This film only made our list because of how unexpected it is at times, searing bizarre images in our brain we’ll never forget. A toy maker and his son are terrorizing families with killer toys, and one particular family becomes their target because they’re living in their old house they lost due to hard times. Most memorable scene is when one particular toy tries bangin’ the mom toward the end. 3/5!

z08GREMLINS (1984)

Do I really need to explain this one? A son gets a magic critter for Christmas that accidentally spawns nastier critters that run amok, ruining everyone’s Christmas in a small town. 5/5!

 

z07SILENT NIGHT (2012)

A reboot for the Silent Night Deadly Night series, this version focuses on a hot cop looking for a killer Santa in a festival of St. Nicks. Good actors, slick cinematography, and Malcolm McDowell spits lines worthy of t-shirts and fridge magnets. 4/5!

 

z10PUPPET MASTER VS DEMONIC TOYS (2004)

In a moment of weakness, Full Moon let the Sci-fi Channel play with their toys and this guilty pleasure happened. It’s a suck-ass Puppet Master sequel but a fun Demonic Toys story with them trying to take over the world Christmas Day unless the puppets can stop them with new robot upgrades. 3/5!  

 

z04SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT (1984)

Our favorite Christmas horror film, we watch this every Christmas Eve before hitting the dirt! It’s ’80s, it’s vicious, it tells the story from the killer’s point of view, and you get Scream Queen Linnea Quigley killed topless! Win win! 5/5!

 

And there you have it. Our favorite holiday horrors to roast your chestnuts over. While they’re not at the very top of our favorites list, we will mention other Christmas horror films worth watching for your sick pleasure like Don’t Open ’til Christmas, Black Christmas (1974), Santa Clause Conquers the Martians, All Through the House, Scrooged, Christmas Horror Story, Santa Klaws, Maniac Cop 2, and Rare Exports. And if you’re really digging deep for more yuletide punishment, I’ll give you fair warning to avoid flops like Silent Night Deadly Night 3-4, Blood Beat, Silent Night Bloody Night, and Krampus 1-2 (2013 & 2016).

Other than that, be sure to watch our epic Season 3 finale with our review of the Basket Case trilogy while having our final showdown with Buzzkill, catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films we’re watching in our R-Rated Reviews blog, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our Youtube channel, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail coming.

We’ll see ya later, Scream Freaks!

SCREAMING AT HORROR REBOOTS AND REMAKES!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! It’s Friday and some new summer movies have just been released to our displeasure in the theaters! One of which is the new Fantastic Four reboot, which has been taking a real beating from the reviews we’ve read from comic fans. The one consistent argument seems to be how the filmmakers missed the mark with what fans expected from these flagship Marvel characters, making them yearn for the 2000’s version that deserved more appreciation. Instead, Hollywood has dished out a hollow superhero story spackled with CGI shit to cover up its shortcomings. This super misfire got us thinking about how pissed we actually are at movies that get constantly rebooted, telling us the same stories over and over again, when we honestly think it would benefit everyone to just keep moving forward with new characters and adventures each cinematic reincarnation.

For instance, we just heard rumors there will be a reboot of the Nightmare on Elm St. series . . . Again! What the fuck? We just had a reboot not that long ago, and sure, maybe not everyone liked it, but it was decent in our opinion. Horror fans don’t want to see the same damn origin tale rehashed like with the Spider-Man movies. How many times can we pay to see the same story? Just move forward and tell a new nightmare with Freddy! He’s immortal after all, and Springwood isn’t stuck in any particular time period for him to terrorize, so simply tell a modern story with our favorite boogey man! That’s what they kind of did when they rebooted Friday the 13th which was a mixed failure. I thought we were finally going to see the story between Jason’s drowning and his resurrection as a full grown mongoloid, but no! We just get a plot that was really a sad sequel minus Jason rediscovering the hockey mask. That whole missing part of his origin could have been the hallmark of the movie, but instead we have a forgettable plot that leaves this movie blending in to the other more memorable sequels. And yes, despite arguments every Friday movie is the same, each did have that one memorable moment/situation unlike the reboot:

Friday The 13th: Jason’s mother seeks revenge.

Friday the 13th Part 2: Jason avenges his mother’s death.

Friday the 13th Part 3: Jason finds the hockey mask.

Friday the 13th Part 4: Jason’s death.

Friday the 13th Part 5: Tommy’s epilogue.

Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason returns as the living dead.

Friday the 13th Part 7: Jason fights a telekinetic.

Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason stalks the streets of Manhattan.

Friday the 13th Part 9: Jason is killed and shown he can jump bodies.

Jason X: Jason kills in space.

Freddy VS Jason: Two of horror’s favorite icons go head to head in combat.

Friday the 13th (reboot): He . . . uh . . . protects his dope?

We honestly think a couple of reboots that got it right were the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween. Before you get too up in arms, these films were guilty of some poor decisions that left us scratching our heads (Like the first TCM reboot having no cannibalism and R. Lee Ermey stealing the show with his performance), but they gave fans new material with insight into these super villains of horror. While some thought it was too much backstory, we actually liked the first half of the new Halloween with the exploration into Myer’s time in the mental hospital which is the kind of thing we thought they were going to do with the Friday reboot.

And how the hell could New Line miss such a golden opportunity to release a 13th Friday the 13th movie on Friday the 13th in 2013?! That was like the stars aligning for some epic prophecy, but they completely dropped the ball. Just like they did with failing to celebrate Freddy’s 30th anniversary in 2014. We didn’t see anyone doing any special for that!

Anyway, we’re starting to ramble. Bottom line, STOP forcing the same shit on fans over and over again and give us something new and different with our favorite characters while staying familiar and fun.

Be sure you’re caught up with the rest of Screaming Soup! Season 2 and use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our Youtube channel, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail coming.

That’s pretty much it for now, so I’ll see ya’ later Scream Freaks!

zremakes

 

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