X – R-Rated Reviews

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So, we can’t animate fast enough to give you Scream Freaks full blown reviews of all the horror movies we’ve been watching lately, but we can give ya our straight shoot’n thoughts in bite size chunks. We like to think you trust our opinions, but remember, we’re fans of Killer Tomato movies!

Look up a review: # A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

X: THE MAN WITH THE X-RAY EYES (1963)

A doctor experiments on his peepers with x-ray eye-drops to help his fellow man but his good intentions spiral into a mess of murder, sight beyond sight, and a hefty resume of odd jobs. I haven’t watched a lot of Ray Milland’s movies, but his portrayal of the tragic Dr. Xavier has to be one of his best performances captured on celluloid with each scene makin’ me root for him more than the last while fearin’ for his sanity as his sight gets crazier. Not bad for a Roger Corman flick! X-ray surgeries, holy healin’ scams, sideshow hustles, crooked gamblin’, fatal freefalls, helicopter chases, abstract x-ray tunnel vision galore, naked twist dancin’ without boobs, dead lab monkeys, and eye gougin’! 4/5! 

XTINCTION: PREDATOR X aka ALLIGATOR X (2014)

After a mad Louisianan scientist resurrects a dino-gator, breedin’ its species is the next step so long as his ex-wife and local swamp authorities don’t stop him and his hillbilly henchmen. A SyFy Channel original, this ain’t all bad, but far from good with lackluster cinematography and horrible dialogue the actors have to deliver in the most forced ways. The CGI dino-gator’s alright, and Supernatural fans will get a kick out of Mark Sheppard playin’ its creator. Explosions, kidnappin’, shirtless gals, swamp folks turned gator food, SeaWorld performin’ dino-gators, egg-citin’ endin’s, and sci-fi henchbillies! 3/5!

XTRO (1982)

Sam returns home years after bein’ abducted by aliens and wants to share his freakish new e.t. gifts with his boy who gets a little out of hand bendin’ reality. This slow-burnin’ family drama has some disturbin’ body horror and alien rape scenes sure to make anyone cringe with a dronin’ synth score that perfectly sets the doom and gloom mood. Not somethin’ you’d watch over and over, but worth addin’ to your WTF collection. Alien abductions, backward crawlin’ aliens with tongue attack action, motorists killed by curiosity, disturbin’ alien rape with tentacles out a bio-zipper, women instantly birthin’ full grown men, clown midget henchmen, man-size G.I. Joe doll with slaughter action, elevator ambushes, babysitters turned into juvie aliens’ baby maker, e.t. eggs, snake egg meals, snakes in salads, killer tops, naked French girls, men fallin’ apart durin’ sex, and some special effect hickies from aliens suckin’ on human flesh! 4/5! 

XTRO 2: THE SECOND ENCOUNTER (1990)

With no ties to the first movie, this sequel’s about a secret underground lab preparin’ commandoes to rescue scientists lost on an interdimensional mission, but one survivor makes it back with a blood thirsty bugger jumpin’ out of her. Trapped below ground and racin’ automated protocols for contamination, the commandos have to work with questionable scientists and wipe out the interdimensional intruder before it’s too late. Pretty damn disappointin’ after how original and freaky the first Xtro was. This flick is a heartless copycat of the Alien movies with special effects that ain’t worth mentionin’, borin’ characters, and snoozefest action. Only for the die hard fans. 2/5!

zxXX (2017)

A horror anthology about mothers and their spawn that’s directed by women! With eerie stop-motion bumpers of a dollhouse creepin’ around, there’s a mom watchin’ her family mysteriously starve themselves to death, a mom hidin’ her youngn’s dead dad in the middle of a birthday party, a mom whose young’n is the offspring of the devil himself, and a single chick turned Native American monster and tearin’ her RV posse to shreds. A fun watch overall, but I was a frustrated by some of the shorts’ unresolved indie endin’s and lack of explanation behind certain decisions that drove some characters’ stories. Horrible young’n costumes, cannibal dinner nightmares, dead panda parties, RV massacres, fugly toenails, and squirrels nailed to trees! 3/5! 

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