R-RATED REVIEWS

logotitle copy3

 So, we can’t animate fast enough to give you Scream Freaks full blown reviews of all the horror movies we’ve been watching lately, but we can give ya our straight shoot’n thoughts in bite size chunks. We like to think you trust our opinions, but remember, we’re fans of Killer Tomato movies!

Look up a review: # A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

NEW

HALLOWEEN (2018)

Old lady Laurie Strode’s spent decades preparin’ for the bogeyman’s return so she can kill ’em and finally gets her wish when Michael Myers escapes a prison transport and resumes his Halloween killin’ spree from that infamous night 40 years ago. The Halloween series gets a 2nd-3rd do over with this latest installment, dependin’ on what continuity you follow, and this timeline begs ya to forget everythin’ from Halloween 2 through Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2, includin’ Laurie Strode’s death in Halloween: Resurrection, and revisit her 40 years after the events in Halloween that’s turned her into an old agoraphobic survivalist hellbent on shootin’ Michael in the face in a new Halloween part two called Halloween. Confused yet? With all the siblin’ rivalry revealed in the original part two bein’ removed between Laurie and Michael, I like how subtle the filmmakers engineer their reunion with Laurie basically obsessin’ over Michael the way Dr. Loomis did, and outside forces literally puttin’ her in Michael’s path of destruction that’s like a shark killin’ anythin’ that moves. There’s some questionable castin’, it could stand some more memorable kills for as many as there are, and it ends a little abruptly, but this is a well made film that easily competes with past Halloween entries. Head stompin’ gore, restroom ambushes, spam head smashin’, young’n neck snappin’, hammers to the head, posed bodies, home invasions, stabbin’s, impalin’s, mannequin gun ranges, booby trapped houses, fire traps, road kill sheriffs, nutty doctors, decap-o-lantern heads, fistful of teeth, Halloween dances, and stoners made into wall decorations! 4/5! 

I STILL SEE YOU (2018)

This flick’s got a dumb title, but it actually has an interestin’ story ’bout a future where some science project blows up and creates a world (or at least a pocket of America) where folks can actually see loopin’ echoes of the dead all ’round them. While they’re supposed to be harmless, Bella Thorne thinks one’s tryin’ to hurt her and investigates the phenomenon with the help of a classmate as obsessed with the ghosts as she is. This movie’s such a fresh mix of sci-fi horror, it easily holds my interest to the very end which has some nice twists to keep me on my toes. I was also impressed with Bella flexin’ her actin’ chops to play somethin’ other than a hot chick in a horror movie. Ghosts stuck on replay, shower scares, literal city of the dead, strangled apparitions, folks buried alive, drownin’ deaths, planned possessions, and instant polar bear club members! 4/5! 

CUCUY: THE BOGEYMAN (2018)

Mexico’s version of Krampus, the Cucuy, is makin’ sack lunches of neighborhood brats, and only a pair of sisters have any chance of rescuin’ them from his interdimensional bag.  As cool as the Cucuy looks, it comes off as hokey as a Goosebumps monster at times, but regardless, this is an impressive little Syfy flick that earns a place in my horror collection. A well paced story with punches of tension and light heartedness with entertainin’ characters keepin’ you on board ’til the very end. Home invasions, deaf heroes, bogeyman fanatics, supernatural prison deaths, young’n chowin’ monsters, cursed suicide videos, random culture shamin’, kidnappin’, stabbin’s, house arrests for bogus charges, and scary stories from grandma! 3/5!

KARMA (2018)

What comes ’round sorta goes ’round as a strugglin’ husband is cursed by a bad luck ghost or somethin’ that takes everythin’ away from him after he’s forced to evict an unfortunate family from their home. Kind of a diet version of Drag Me to Hell for Syfy, this ain’t a bad watch but ain’t the most entertainin’ flick either. The escalation of danger drags, the endin’ is pretty abrupt, the villain’s actions at the end lack convincin’ motivation, and the only memorable thing in it is the table saw death! Kung-fu wire stunts galore, karma-vision, hit and runs, fatal freefalls on table saws, stabbin’s, electrocutions, and hot wax to the eyes! 2/5! 

THE NIGHT BEFORE HALLOWEEN (2016)

A demonic swarm of flies curses an estranged gang of friends to die Halloween night ‘less they trick folks into accidentally killin’ other yahoos. This is a TV flick that ain’t too sour but could be sweeter. The cinematography and creature effects are pretty damn impressive, even for Syfy, but the monster’s rules are a little all over the place and the teens ain’t the most interestin’ or compellin’ characters to watch. Electrified knives, deadly pranks, car wrecks, cop-out swarm deaths, explosions, evil ceilin’ stains, demonic flies, cursed versions of tag, teens hurled through windows, cop drama, fatal freefalls, psych out suicide pacts, throat slittin’, and cops who can’t get around shelves or tackle teenage girls to save their lives! 3/5! 

HELL HOUSE LLC 2 (2018)

The busted ass hotel from the first flick is even more infamous now that the survivor of the first movie’s shared his story of that Halloween night all hell literally broke loose in the haunt’s basement, and curious trespassin’ cats are disappearin’ left and right tryin’ to explore it. With the help of a bold web show host and paranormal professionals, that one survivor runs back into the evil estate to search for answers and turns up explanations we were denied the first movie. I really have to hand it to the filmmakers for doin’ so much with so little. I can’t remember the last time someone half standin’ in a hallway was enough to give me the chills, and the actors really sell their characters as these folks you wanna see make it out alive. The Tarantino editin’ with the timeline between the found footage and TV broadcast is a little too mixed up for me, but I really can’t find any sours worth bitchin’ ’bout. Ghost girl hitch hikers, possessed clown props, walkie talkie chatter with ghosts, portals to hell, hangin’s, supernatural cat fishin’, jumpscare spooks, double dares, solo seances, and maze mansions! 4/5! 

UNFRIENDED 2: DARK WEB (2018)

Hostel type killers from the dark web are pissed when one of their agent’s laptops ends up bein’ used for some yahoo’s game night with his friends on video chat and use every dirty digital trick to protect their deadly dealin’s the gamers eventually uncover. For a movie that’s presented in real time on a geek’s computer screen for an hour an a half, the filmmakers do a great job keepin’ me hooked to the very end with nervous anticipation for each gamer’s fate. The plot may get a little convoluted at times with the killers doin’ a lot of questionable things, but it all makes sense by the time you get to the twist at the end. Only dumb part is the wannabe heroine not bein’ more cautious of a hooded man standin’ right next to her at the subway. Fatal freefalls, bait and switches, chained girls, girls trapped in containers, suggested acid baths, borrowed heads, kidnappin’, bitcoin leverages, distorted assailants, subway deaths, deaf hotties, swat team executions, hangin’s, faked suicides, flatliners, and human roadkill! 4/5! 

HELL FEST (2018)

A Halloween serial killer hides among the masked employees of a theme park size haunt called Hell Fest and singles out a girl and her friends for his homicidal ritual bystandin’ gawkers think is just part of the show. This is a sweet hooten-nanny of a flick that maxes out the Halloween atmosphere with nearly everythin’ you’ve ever seen at a haunted attraction packed into one movie. The talent is believable and entertainin’, the sets look amaze-balls, and the killer is minimal but effective thanks to thoughtful camerawork and a single hummed tune keepin’ him from bein’ a forgettable cookie cutter slasher. The only sours I find are the chase sequences gettin’ a little repetitive by the end, the friends needin’ another level of complexity to how they interact’ throughout the night, too few creative kills, and it personally bugged me the inconsistency in the park’s level of dangers and why it meant so much for the friends to make it to the Hell end of Hell Fest. Clowns, bearded ladies, big headed freaks, scary fairground rides, potty crashers, stabbin’s, robotic scares, needle rammin’ through eye sockets, gory head smashin’, tough kills with a fake guillotine, sensor activated scares, zombie actors, ax wieldin’ psychos, mannequin disguises, and Tony Todd cameos as the head honcho of Hell Fest! 4/5!   

NO ESCAPE ROOM (2018)

A travelin’ daddy daughter duo check into a small town’s escape room with other tourists for fun but eventually figure out they’re all stuck in some haunted time travel experiment with a ghost or somethin’ after them that’s never really explained enough. This is one of them frustratin’ kind of Syfy movies that has a lot of promise but ultimately drops the ball with the escalation of danger draggin’ its feet, scenes spinnin’ its wheels with the same ol’ actions, and me not understandin’ the exact nature of who or whatever’s after the players. Not a bad movie, but you may as well watch folks escape those Cube movies for a more satisfyin’ story. Guts full of keys, severed toilet bowl hands, creepy corpses, offscreen creatures, shadow people, hidden clues, haunted houses, time loops, time travel, ventilation crawlin’, blood drippin’, ghosts I think, calls from the future, hangin’s, wet sirens that are really chain entanglin’ gears, A Ha paintin’s, time trippin’ restrooms, yanked fingernails, and never drink the complimentary tea! 3/5!

TRUTH OR DARE (2017)

Without much explanation, a demon haunts a rental and ups a college party’s Halloween games to 11 with the life or death version of truth or dare they’re forced to play to the grisly end. For a Syfy flick, this really ain’t a bad TV horror with some creative camerawork, nicely done effects, and a solid cast fronted by Sharknado hottie, Cassandra Scerbo. Only sours I hate is the story carryin’ well after Halloween, the demon needin’ more of a presence, and the endin’ bein’ a little abrupt and confusin’. Grilled hands, smashed knees, hangin’s, crispy skin snacks, eyelash snippin’, hair clippin’s, severed fingers and toes, impalement, leg hackin’, ear slicin’, acid bucket challenges, fatal free falls, fat road kills, chasin’ cola chugs with acid, gunshots to the chest, car wrecks, supernatural calls comin’ from inside the house, haunted TVs, and Heather Langencamp makes a cameo as a burn victim! 3/5!

Advertisements
TwitterFacebook Youtube
%d bloggers like this: