R-RATED REVIEWS

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 So, we can’t animate fast enough to give you Scream Freaks full blown reviews of all the horror movies we’ve been watching lately, but we can give ya our straight shoot’n thoughts in bite size chunks. We like to think you trust our opinions, but remember, we’re fans of Killer Tomato movies!

Look up a review: # A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

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BOOGEY MAN 3 (2008)

Returnin’ to its supernatural roots, the series trades the wacko-boogey poser from the last flick for the real deal, and Boogey randomly returns to terrorize Tobin Bell’s daughter and her college dorm friends for the sheer hell of it. Again, this series comes up with interestin’ enough characters, situations, and kills, but I can’t get over how underdeveloped and hokey the Boogeyman is. Who is he, what does he want, how does he choose his victims . . . ?! The Boogeymen from The Real Ghostbusters cartoon and Troma’s Monster in the Closet is scarier than this guy! Blood floods, bongs through the face, dead dogs off screen, strangulations, boobs galore, boobs in the bath and shower, spin-cycle deaths, blood drippin’ hallways, disembowelments, blood splattered lock-ups, hokey ghost faces, and elevator terror! 3/5!

BOOGEY MAN 2 (2008)

Years after seein’ their parents slaughtered by a hooded boogeyman as young’ns, Laura commits herself to the same clinic that helped her brother get over his bogyphobia, but things only get worse as every patient is killed by their own phobias, leavin’ Laura to think the Boogeyman is back to get her. For me, this flick is essentially the Halloween 3 or Friday the 13th Part 5 of the Boogeyman series that borrows the plot from Nightmare on Elm St. 3. Not a bad flick overall thanks to a nice mix of disturbed characters with Tobin Bell as their doctor (recordin’ everythin’ on mini-audio cassettes in Jigsaw fashion), and more than one gory death scene sure to make even seasoned horror fans cringe. My biggest problem is how uninterestin’ the Boogeyman still is as this forgettable lookin’ supernatural killer with zip personality. Agoraphobics hearts ripped out , disembowelin’, nyctophobics ripped in half, needles to the peepers, cleaner cocktail guzzlin’ germaphobes, arm tearin’ masochists, skin burrowin’ maggots, fat filled bulimics, cockroach snacks, electrocutions, Scooby-Doo mysteries, and boobs bangin’ in the shower! 3/5! 

THE BABYSITTER (2017)

When Cole stays up past his bedtime to spy on his crazy hot babysitter, he finds her and her friends in the middle of a human sacrifice for a wishin’ ritual that needs his innocent young’n blood to complete. An overall fun movie with some memorable graphic kills and a hero worth rootin’ for, the only thing I hate about this is how we don’t learn jack shit about the babysitter who’s arguably one of horror’s best femme fatales. How many times has she done the ritual, and what has she been wishin’ for everytime? Does she repeat the rituals with the same gang or how did they meet? Still a blast to watch without all these answers, but it would have made it 10x better for me! Crawlspace spiders, spin the bottle/truth or dare combos with girl on girl lip action, misfire boobs, impaled heads, fatal freefalls, treehouse hangin’s, death by fireworks, brain blood fountain drinks, black magic rituals, spell books, and hit and sit auto accidents in the home! 4/5! 

WIND CHILL (2007)

A college girl’s secret stalker tries to impress her with a ride home for Christmas, but he decides to take a winter wonderland route down a stretch of haunted highway where they wreck and are haunted by a crooked cop and his victims while freezin’ to death. This is one of them slow and moody kinda flicks with the majority of the time stuck with two folks in a car, but it keeps enough little mysterious goin’ to keep you hooked and thinkin’ about how things are connected. Not a lot of Christmas spirit other than snow and a couple of jolly jingles on the radio. Bloated snake spewin’ drifters, holy popsickles, cold powered spooks, stranglin’ flashbacks, airborne car wrecks, frozen drivers, and multiple mulligans! 3/5!

HAPPY DEATH DAY (2017)

It’s the horror version of Groundhoung Day as a bitchy sorority birthday girl finds herself livin’ in a deja vu loop that won’t end ’til she figures out who keeps killin’ her at the end of the repeatin’ day or ’til her chances run out with each resurrection leavin’ her weaker than before. The concept sounds comical, but the filmmakers took this seriously as a horror flick and deliver a fun take on the slasher formula full of great twists and turns and an outstandin’ performance by Jessica Rothe that leaves me wantin’ more! Stabbin’s, deaths by bong, pleasure domes, plot point cupcakes, gunfire, hangin’s, car explosions, bats to the head, drownin’s, fatal freefalls, psycho escapes, and naked strolls through campus! 5/5!   

CULT OF CHUCKY (2017)

Chucky’s back in more ways than one in what could be called his White Sequel and wants revenge on Nica, the last girl on wheels from the previous flick. Committed to a loony bin for the slaughter of her family, Nica’s almost convinced Chucky’s not real until multiple Good Guy dolls start showin’ up in her cuckoo’s nest, each possessed by serial killer Charles Lee Ray thanks to a new voodoo spell he found. While Curse of Chucky returned our favorite foul mouth slasher to his original Child’s Play roots with folks tryin’ to solve the mystery of a homicidal plaything, this sequel brings the scares and humor back to where the series was in part two and three which I think is the perfect balance for the character. Chucky’s front and center again without overshadowin’ his co-stars who successfully hold their own as entertainin’ characters, the gore’s satisfyin’, the doll effects are some of the best in the series, and past storylines are revisited while Chuck’s own story has cool new developments. Multiple personality disorders, possessions, gory gun smugglin’, mother complexes, bloody breast feedin’s, hypnotic foot fetishes, crazy cripple bangin’, head smashin’, stabbin’s, drillin’s, tortured heads, bitin’, bloody messages, silly decapitations, voodoo spells, Andy Barclay returns, and Tiffany returns in flesh and plastic! 4/5!

JEEPERS CREEPERS 3 (2017)

Pickin’ back up with the Creeper’s last 23 day killin’ spree with a story that takes place between parts one and two, a boonies lynch mob guns for the backroads slasher while racin’ him to a farm hidin’ one of his old body parts with secrets to his past. This weakest entry in the Creeper series leaves me happy and pissed at the same time. I can forgive low-budget short comin’s like TV quality effects and most the movie takin’ place durin’ the day, but the story killed me with its weak characters, build-ups with no pay offs, laughable action sequences, and the Creeper’s grab bag of powers that remind me of the randomness in Christopher Reeves’ Superman movies. Suckiest thing about the movie is how two people learn the secrets of the Creeper, but we’re never told any of it! Booby-trap Creepermobiles, impalements, Olympic javelin throwin’, eye-poppin’ gore, dirt bike punks, telekinetic weapons, teen-wolf car surfin’, axes to the face, magical Creeper meat mitts, car flippin’, ricochet road rage, spear fishin’, gattlin’ gun Humvees, haunted arguments, impervious rides, and car-seekin’ road bombs! 3/5!

 

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